After All
by oxpeRsoCom311ox
Summary: A Kyo and Tohru Oneshot. Kyo loves her, but does she feel the same way? A poem-oneshot, the poem is called 'After All' and it is written by me.


Every time I close my eyes,

**_You're there._**

I dream about you Tohru. Every beautiful part of you I see. Every single sweet fantasy I have is about you. Every. Single. One. A dream however, is all it might be. Do you see me in your dreams? In your fantasies? Or is it only my imagination playing a sick game with me?

Every time I see you,

**_I can't help but stare._**

****

I purposely train outside when you're hanging out the laundry. To listen to your deep humming as you pin up my clothes. To watch you smile that beautiful warm smile that has lit a burning fire in my heart. Every time I try to steal a glance at you, you look at me. I turn away and blush, to see that you're actually staring at me with interest. I melt in my shoes when you blush as well and go back to your singing. Your beauty is indescribable. Your silky, honey-brown hair, your large, crystal-blue eyes, they swim with love and tenderness. Your soothing voice than can blow my anger away.

You amaze me,

**_You captivate me._**

To see you everyday should be a sin. I should be punished for being that happy everyday, for experiencing so much joy with one single person. How do you do it? How can you be so perfect? I am intrigued with every step you take, and every sound that escapes your lips. The things you do and say to everyone, anyone, are beautiful. You could say the nastiest, most cruel thing in the entire world, and to me it would sound melodic and harmonized. How can you do this to everyone you meet? To show them so much kindness and understanding? Your personality is really something.

You make my anger melt away,

**_Words can't describe what I want to say._**

I have a violent temper, everyone knows that, you more so than others might. I used to hate you, to scorn and brush you away. But you still came back to me. Every time you speak, I lose my frustration and rage. It's not what you say that comforts and soothes me. It's _you_ that does these things to me.

The emptiness that was there before,

**_Has left me, gone away, it is no more._**

****

There was always a space, a gap in my heart, before I met you. I felt like there was almost nothing to life, nothing to live for. What was the point of this seemingly, never ending path that I was doomed to wander aimlessly on? Then it dawned on me, I found the purpose. I found the love and emotion that would fill in the black abyss in my heart. It was you.

My mind is in the sky,

**_My heart is flying high._**

****

I can't concentrate on anything else. You are all that is on my mind, when I see you I feel like I'm flying. I feel as if I am free from the burden of the cat and the zodiac that was forced on me when I was born. And as my mind soars through the air, you're with me. You're beside me, holding my hand to make sure that I don't fall.

But… 

****

You don't feel it…do you…?

Do you feel the same way?

I feel it everyday.

When I look at you, I feel a passionate longing beating steadily in my chest. But…what do you see…when you look at me?

It's crawling in my skin,

**_Where's the door to your heart? Please let me in._**

****

My heart skips a beat, I'm breathless, my palms sweat, and my stomach turns. That's what I feel when you speak, the feeling is throughout my whole body. But why do you not let anyone through to your heart? Are you afraid you'll hurt them? That they'll hurt you?

I fear that you don't know,

**_How much my love for you will still grow._**

****

You have no idea, what I feel about you; love that pours out through every inch of my body. And my love blooms and stays steady as a mountain that will not be swayed by a breeze.

You're everything to me

You're the oxygen I breathe

I breathe you, I drink you, I smell you, I touch you, I hear you, I see you.

Should I tell you?

Will you want to love me as I do you?

What should I say? How will you react? I have to tell you. These feelings are erupting inside of me, I can't hold them in much longer.

Will you accept me as I am?

Or will you turn away and let the door slam?

Could you every love me in both of my forms? Could you accept me either way?

I know that you don't,

I know that you won't.

As I tell you of my love, you turn away. You think nothing of it. I knew you would run from me, and my feelings for you. I knew. The pain is almost too much to bare, I can barely look at your face anymore without feeling the abyss in my heart taking over me. It's too much for me now. You don't love me. My world is gone.

But there will be a way for me,

To be happy.

I have considered this many times before, and now I understand that it will be my cold and lonely fate.

It's every cutters dream,

Or so it would seem.

What phenomenon will death uncover?

I suppose I am about to discover.

To lie cold and dead, is that my sweet satisfaction? It'll stop the pain, the earsplitting, rattling pain that is tugging on either ends of my heart.

The blade glints in the moonlight.

I clutch the handle tight.

The dead of night is the perfect time for this dark deed to be done. And to the knife my life will go.

Do I have any last regrets?

Of course, my only mind set…

Loving you…

Why did I even try? Why did I try to force you on me? Love is sick and cruel. It's a twisted game that cupid likes to play with us, his love slaves.

Staring at your picture on the wall,

It deepens the pain, deepens it all.

I don't see you like I used to. You were everything to me. Now, the whole in my heart has opened and widened even more. You're gone from it. There is no purpose now.

If you care for me, save me from this fate.

Sorry, but now it's too late.

I secretly wish for you to burst into the room and try to save me from this. Weeping at my feet. Crying, no, begging to put the weapon down. But alas, you are asleep. That was your last chance. I won't be there tomorrow morning.

No hesitation in my mind,

Not a second feeling to hide.

The blade presses to my wrist.

And my hope for you is gone, all of it.

No emotion is left of me. Nothing. It's all left me. You have left me. The world has left me. I'm falling into an endless pit, no one at the bottom to catch me.

The blood runs thick,

To see me right now, you'd be sick.

The red liquid pours away so swiftly,

Like the memories of you and me.

You were once everything on my mind, now there is nothing in there at all. Maybe a sliver of memories and thoughts of you remain, but my feelings for you have changed. The memories slowly die away like the lush green grass in June. The love rots and turns tainted. It's dead. My love is dead. My mind is dead. Everything grows dark and desolate as I am engulfed be the cold hands of death.

And before I fall,

I see your picture on the wall.

As I close my eyes, I realize…

You never loved me after all.


End file.
